Harley and Joker: Star Crossed
by Bhx743
Summary: It's retelling of Mad Love but it takes inspiration from Romeo and Juliet. But it's going to have twists and turns that you might not expect.
1. Chapter 1

Harley and Joker: Star-Crossed

Chapter One

Shots rang out near the old Steel Mill in Gotham City. Gunfire was common to Gotham but for most people, this Steel Mill was off limits. It was home to a man that most feared and considered a violent force of nature. He would leave most of the heavy lifting to the men that he kept at his employment but sometimes he would grace them with his presence.

"You oughta know that you shouldn't a picked a fight with us!" Yelled out Albert from behind a position of cover. "This is our turf!" Another one, named, Blake, yelled out as he peeked over cover and opened fire on the cars parked outside the gate that were protecting the attackers. "Who do you think they are?" Blake asked as he fell back behind his cover.

"I dunno. Whose stupid enough to attack the boss like this?" Albert responded, seconds before a bullet slammed into the side of his head. "What the hell?" Blake asked, looking around. "No one could've made that shot. FALL BACK!" Blake yelled to the group of men behind him. A man walked up to the front gate. "C'mon, they're on the run!" The man called out as the entire 15 man band of thugs charged into the Steel Mill.

He wore a red body armor with an 'A' spray-painted on it, a long red hood with a cape that went to his thighs and a white gas mask. He pulled a radio out of his pocket and began to speak. "Deadshot, move to the second position, we're headed inside. Joker dies tonight," He said. "Copy that, Anarky," The voice on the radio simply replied.

"They're all inside?" Anarky asked as he approached his men who were waiting in. "Everyone of 'em we didn't get," One of his men simply responded, motioning for Anarky to look at all the bodies on the ground around them. "Let's head inside," Anarky declared. The group stormed inside and was immediately met with a loud cackling over the PA System.

"Anarky? I always thought you were a fan of chaos!" The voice declared. "Riddler, Pengurz, I'd expect this from. Hell, even Black Mask might do something like this. But not you, boy, and it makes me sooo sad because now..," The Joker began with a pause. "Now what?" Anarky asked back. "_I have to kill you_," He hissed with great air of menace in his voice.

"We've got you outnumbered, clown! You don't have a chance!" Anarky yelled. He motioned his men to move up when an explosive triggered releasing a green gas into the room. "This is one of my new toys, Anarky. I know you're wearing a gas mask but on the monitors in front of me, I see your men aren't. I call this Joker Gas," He explained as Anarky's men began to laugh hysterically.

"Get a hold of yourselves!" Anarky yelled as he walked over to one of his men. "They're going laugh and laugh and laugh!" Joker declared with a laugh. "Why, maybe they'll even laugh themselves _to death._ There's nothing you can do, here, _boy," _Joker said. Anarky stood still as he pondered what to do before finally turning around and running to the front door. "It's locked," Anarky muttered as he tried desperately to open it. "Oh, what kind of host would I be if I let you get away so soon? Stay awhile, kick your feet up, let that hair down. Take off that gas mask," Joker said, laughing hysterically.

"Deadshot, I need help!" Anarky said into the radio, panicking. "Joker's mutilated them all. Made them start laughing and now they...look like him," Anarky continued as he observed one of the bodies that had now ceased to breath at all. "Head into the next room on your right. I can see inside one of the windows, it's low enough you can escape," Deadshot explained as he fired a shot. "It's open," He added.

"Alright," Anarky said and he ran through the building. He approached the door into the next room and opened it, being immediately struck in the face by a crowbar. Anarky was knocked backwards onto the ground causing his mask to almost come off his face. "Welcome home, honey," Joker said as walked up to Anarky and kneeled down next to him.

"You know, most people will call the police during a home invasion. Me? I like to take care of business myself. And you and me, _boy_, we've got a lot of business now," Joker said. He stood up and let out a murderous laugh as he began striking Anarky with his crowbar.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So, uh, Harleen _Quinzell_? Am I saying that right?" The man behind the desk asked. This was Louie, an associate of the Penguin. Louie mostly just ran his nightclub, The Iceburg Lounge, for him while he was out. "Yeah, that's right," The young Harleen said with a nod. "Okay, so you know you're applying for a bartender position, right? You need to be 21," Louie explained. Harleen nodded quickly as she pulled out her wallet.

"But, look! I am 21, I've got the ID right here," She said as Louie looked at her ID. He examined it closely for a few seconds before handing it back to her. "Alright, well, you really don't look 21," He said with a chuckle. "Yeah, I get that a lot," She replied cheerfully.

"But really, I've been over your references and your work history and we'll be glad to have you work with us. Mr. Cobblepot will have to meet you before it's official but that's really just a formality," Louie said as he stood up to shake Harleen's hand. "Thank you, thank you!" She exclaimed happily. "We'll give you a call within a couple of days to let you know when Mr. Cobblepot will want to meet," Louie added.

"Okay, great! Thank you again!" Harleen said as she walked out of Louie's office. "Hey, doll," A voice said. "Lexi! You came!" Harleen exclaimed as she ran over and hugged her friend. This was Alexis Jacobs, a personal friend of Harleen's. "I wouldn't miss my babe's big interview! How'd it go?" Alexis asked.

"I got it! He said that I have to meet Mr. Cobblepot in a couple days to approve it, but you're looking at the new weekday bartender for the Iceburg Lounge!" Harleen said happily. "Well, congrats, Harl! This'll be good for you after all that stuff with Tommy," Alexis said. "He's a jerk, I'm over him okay?" Harleen replied, her tone completely shifting. "He just doesn't seem that interested in dating. It totally was never you, he's just gay or something," Alexis responded.

Harleen laughed. "Yeah, I bet Bruce Wayne is more his type." Alexis hugged her from the side and laughed with her. "That's the spirit," She said. As they walked out of the Iceburg Lounge, they passed by a TV sitting near the front of the building that began to play a news broadcast.

"Welcome to Gotham News Network, our top story tonight is a dead body hung from a street light outside of the Gotham Police Station," The anchorman began. "Whoa," Harleen said as she caught the end of it and stopped to watch.

"The body was identified as 22 year old Lonnie Machin. Machin had been masquerading in Gotham's criminal underworld as 'Anarky' so it is suspected that his murder had to do with gang violence. Just who was sending the Gotham Police a message? We still don't know. Police Commissioner Gordon has issued a statement saying 'The Gotham City Police Force will not tolerate this kind of action by the Mob. They cannot and will not muscle us into giving them free reign. We will be tracking down the people responsible for this and they will receive justice.'"

"He's so full of it," Alexis said as the two of them continued walking. "He doesn't seem so bad," Harleen replied, sounding bored. "No, he seems like a cool dude, just completely terrible at his job," Alexis said. "Blah, blah, blah. Why so serious Lexi? We've got to go celebrate my new job! The night is young and we've got places to be!" Harleen exclaimed. Alexis laughed, "Alright, Harley, lead the way."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next night,

"So, stop me if you've heard this one. What was it, Killer Bee?" The Joker asked as he stood before another tied up villain who had tried to attack him again. "Moth," The man simply said. He wore a bright body armor and face mask that vaguely made him resemble the Killer Moth he called himself. "Oh, that's much better. Hahahahahaha!" The Joker replied.

"Well, where was I? My Joke, that's right. A guy, normal guy, is just relaxing at his home. The place where he sleeps and all of the sudden people start showing up trying to _kill _him! Two times in as many nights! The nerve, right? And then suddenly when the man doesn't choose to immediately kill his attacker but to find out who he's working for instead, he gets nothing. Isn't that funny? Hahahaha!" The Joker laughed. He quickly ceased laughing after Killer Moth did nothing.

"Oh, come on, you're no fun. Won't give me anything and you won't even laugh. Now tell me before I have to get violent. Did you see what I did to Anarky last night? That could be you but instead you'll be burned alive if you give me nothing," The Joker hissed, quickly losing patience. Killer Moth seemed to freeze up, saying and doing nothing.

"Fine! But don't say I didn't warn you," The Joker snarled as he pulled out a small container to lighter fluid from his left pocket and a lighter from his right. He poured the fluid all over Killer Moth's lap. "You know what happens to a moth when its burned by a flame?" The Joker asked.

"The same thing that happens to everything else," He said without giving Killer Moth a chance to speak. He lit the lighter and slowly moved it in before Killer Moth spoke. "Ferris Boyle! He's hiring people to kill you! He wants your Steelmill!"

"Oh really? Old Ferris of Gothcorp, eh? I suppose it's time to pay him a visit. Any idea where he might be tonight?" The Joker queried. "He's got a party going on tonight at his penthouse," Killer Moth replied. "Well, thank you, Moth. I'll be sure to bring back a nice sweater for you to eat with me when I come back," The Joker said. "You're not letting me go?" He asked. "Not on your life, sonny!" Joker called as he stormed off.

Elsewhere,

"So why am I here with you again tonight, Lexi?" Harleen asked her best friend Alexis as the two of them, wearing fancy dresses and lots of make-up, walked into the apartment building that held Ferris Boyle's penthouse. "Mr. Boyle wants me to come here tonight and I didn't want to go alone. I know it's last minute. I didn't even want to go but you're my boo, so I picked you," Alexis explained. The two of them walked through the ground level to the elevator whilst casually greeting people.

"You know, I feel like a clown wearing all this," Harleen said. "A clown? Pshh, sexiest clown I've ever seen. You look hot," Alexis replied. "Thanks," Harleen simply replied. "I know what you must be thinking, Harley. You think this is going to be just fancy rich people here," Alexis said. "You're not. You're just his secretary," Harleen replied quickly. Alexis nodded. "Exactly, he's got a bunch of lower tier people here too. Ferris Boyle is a man of the people," Alexis said. Harleen laughed. "Right."

The two of them arrived as the elevator leading to the top floor before the roof opened up. "It's this one," Alexis said, leading the way to the obvious penthouse at the end of the hall. "How could I have guessed?" Harleen asked sarcastically. Boyle's penthouse had a guy standing in the front, an obvious bouncer.

"Hey, Alexis," The Bouncer said, almost too excitedly. "Yo," She replied with a girly wave. "Who's your friend?" He asked. "Harleen Quinzel, she's my Plus One," Alexis explained. "Oh, awesome, nice to meet you, Harleen," The Bouncer said as he opened the door for the two of them. "That guy's kinda a creep a work. I catch him checking me out all the time. He doesn't think I see him, but I do," Alexis whispered as they went in. Harleen giggled.

"Oh, look. Ferris is about to speak," Alexis said as they walked into the fairly large crowd. Ferris was on top of a balcony with multiple people. Harleen assumed they were family except for Bruce Wayne, who she recognized but had never seen in person. "Oh, crap. This is a fancy party, Wayne is here," Harleen whispered. Boyle looked about 35 years old and he exuded 'arrogant rich man' while Bruce Wayne was about 29 and looked to be the strong, silent type; at least to Harleen.

"Welcome, everyone. I see a crowd of very familiar faces here tonight," Boyle began. "I'll keep this short. I hope for a great night in celebration of Gothcorp's collaboration with Wayne Enterprises on our joint Cryogenic Research Project. And now, I will allow Mr. Bruce Wayne to say a few words," Ferris said taking a step back. Bruce got up out of his seat and walked forward.

"Hi all," He said earnestly, "I hope you all have a party. Like Ferris said. And I really don't want to bore you with the details on our work. But some crazy stuff will be happening if all goes as planned. We're gonna be able to save a lot of live and really that's what matters." The crowd began to cheer as Bruce stepped back.

"Wow, Lexi. I never would've guessed Wayne would have such a way with words," Harleen said mockingly. "Well, his parents died in front of him when he was a kid. He's gotta have some screws loose," Alexis replied. "Yeah, hopefully all just in his head," Harleen giggled. The two of them mingled with various people at the party for the next 15 minutes until finally gun shots fired.

The Joker's men stormed inside followed by the Joker himself. "Hello all. I'd like to speak with Mr. Boyle if that's alright," The Joker explained. "Is he here? I'd like to borrow some sugar if I may?" He asked with a grin.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Harleen stared from her place in the crowd as two of the Joker's thugs threw the bouncer and another guard's bodies inside the room with them. "These two had some problems with me meeting with you, Boyle," The Joker declared as he looked around the crowd trying to pinpoint his target. "My boys took care of that, though. _Heartily. _Now, I've only got one question for you all; _Where is Ferris Boyle_?" The Joker continued as he walked through the room armed with a shotgun.

No one said anything. "Fine, if no one wants to be helpful. We'll just have all of you get down on the ground and we'll do this the _hard_ way. So get _down_." He ordered as he and his men began to wave their guns, some firing into the air. Sure enough, everyone fell to the ground and Joker began looking around for his prey. "Kill anyone who tries anything," He added.

Harleen began to panic as no one in the room stood up and pointed out the obvious. Was Ferris still on the balcony? Had he figured out a way to sneak out? Rich People have all kinds of fancy tricks, right? Harleen's thoughts raced with thoughts like these, before finally, she spoke up. "He's up there," Harleen said. Alexis slapped her shoulder. "_Harleen_!" She whispered loudly. Harleen ignored her and stood up, pointing toward the balcony.

"Why, hello, beautiful. I'm so disappointed with myself that I didn't notice you sooner. What's your name, dearie?" The Joker asked with a surprising amount of sincerity in his voice. Harleen wondered how serious that was before she answered. "Harleen Quinzel."

"Well, Harleen. I thank you for your help in this. As reward, I'm going to take you out for a night on the town. Boys, take her to the van," The Joker said with a laugh. "What? No, I don't wanna. I can't. But, there's something about someone who would do something like this. Something exciting. You've always had a thing for eccentric personalities, Harleen. Go with him. Maybe you'll learn something about him. He _is_ the most wanted man in Gotham," Harleen thought to herself for what felt like minutes but was more in mere seconds.

"Okay," Harleen simply said. Alexis's jaw dropped in surprise. "And not a struggler. I like you already, Harley. Can I call you that?" He asked. She nodded and Joker smiled as he walked ahead towards the stairs leading to the balcony. "Honey, I'm home," The Joker said loudly as he approached the top to find 5 bodies. "What?!" The Joker yelled out in shock. "Someone got here first?!" The Joker began inspecting the bodies of the people and realized they were simply knocked out.

A contemplative look fell on the Joker's face. "Someone gassed these people. There's no way someone was quiet enough to knock them out by force. And Ferris is gone," The Joker muttered to himself as he tried to piece it together. Suddenly, the lights flickered multiple times before they finally went out. "What's going on?" The Joker asked himself.

"Boys! Flashlights on! You better have them!" Joker declared as he grabbed one of the unconscious bodies, as if making it a hostage. He dropped his shotgun and pulled out a knife from his pocket, holding it to the woman's neck. In his free hand, he pulled out a tiny but bright flashlight from his pocket. A pained groan let out a few feet from Joker.

He quickly turns to see one of his men dangling from a wire that went up to the support beams of the building. "In the rafters!" Joker shouted. "Someone's here!" Shots rang out into the air as the Joker's men tried to kill their mysterious attacker. "Does anyone see anything?" The Joker asked as he continued staring at the sky. There was no sign of a body so the Joker knew they hadn't yet won.

Two thuds fell behind the Joker. They were two more unconscious bodies of the men that he had brought inside with him. "You think you're scaring me? You don't know fear!" The Joker yelled. Finally, a voice spoke out that was deep and angry. "_Put the woman down._"

"Or what?" The Joker asked with malice in his voice. No answer came. "I've got three more men down there and..." The Joker began as he looked down the stairs to see his men knocked out and their flashlights rolling onto the ground. "Oh," The Joker simply said. The Joker turned around and came face to face with his attacker who knocked the knife from his hand before he could do anything. Joker dropped the woman and held his flashlight forward.

"_Batman_. I figured it might've been you. I wish you had called. It's been so long since we first met. I'd of made sure that we all had fancy hats for you. I know how much you like those," The Joker rambled before Batman grabbed him by the shirt. "Why do you need Ferris Boyle?" Batman asked. "Well, isn't that personal information? First amendment and all that right?" The Joker responded with a laugh. Batman decked him in the stomach. "Why?" He asked again.

The Joker let out a wheezing laugh before he replied. "He's trying to steal my place. You go to all this work trying to make your way in the big city and somebody just thinks they can take it from you. The nerve right? Really, I'm the victim here!" The Joker declared as he pushed down in the center of his glove and gas shot out from his sleeve and dosed Batman in the face. "Gotcha!" He laughed. Joker decks Batman, knocking him to the ground before running off. "I would stay and fight, Batsy. But I've got a date with a very special lady!" The Joker cackled as he ran off.

Batman struggled to get to his feet as the gas wore off. "A simple nerve gas. I've already got the cure in bloodstream otherwise that might've done a number on me. He seems to be gone though. Maybe I can track him somehow."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

A few minutes ago,

Ferris Boyle opened his eyes and he quickly realized where he was; on the rooftop of the building next to the one that he called home. "What the hell is going on? How did I get here?" Boyle thought to himself. He remembered seeing the Joker enter his party and then nothing. It was as if he had just blacked out and appeared over here. "It's always that _damn_ clown causing problems for me," Boyle thought to himself. He pulled out his phone and called up a number.

Now,

"So what's your names?" Harleen asked one of the Joker's men as she sat in the back of the Joker's van with the two of them. "Tucker," One of the said. "Jordan," The other said. "Hi," She said cheerfully. "You're gonna have a nice time," Jordan said. "When the boss is really trying to be nice, he's a good guy. You get him mad though...," Tucker added. "I'm sure I'll be fine," Harleen said with a laugh.

The back door slammed opened and the Joker jumped in. "Let's go, boys. We had tiny incident with a certain Bat in there. I got the jump on him but it's pretty FUBAR up there," The Joker explained. Without another word, the van began driving up the road. "Well, Harley. Sorry we had to rush out the door like this. Hopefully it won't interrupt our night," He said, almost sweetly.

"Hopefully not," She smiled. "So, is that paint that you wear?" She asked. The Joker shook his head. "No my dear. This is what happens when one has one very bad day," The Joker explained. "Now, you tell me, Harley Quinn. Have you ever met someone who you felt an instant connection with? Someone who you feel like should truly, truly be in your life forever?"

"Is he talking about me? He's got to be talking about me. He singled me out at the party after I told him everything. Maybe this is love at first sight? _Love_? Wait, what? That doesn't make any sense. I've just met this man. I've known about him doing all of these crazy things though. Is that really a turn-off though? That really means that he's exciting and isn't that something that you really want in a man, Harley?" She thought to herself.

She began to nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, I know the exact feeling that you mean. I believe in all of that. I'm a hopeless romantic, y'know?" She laughed. "Oh, I know. I see in that in your eyes, Harley," The Joker said before he let out a laugh.

"So tell me about yourself. The man, not just _the Joker _that everyone talks about. Like why did you need to get Ferris Boyle?" Harley asked. "He's trying to steal my home out from under me. He's sent one, two, _three _people out to kill me in as many days! I'm the victim just trying to defend myself," The Joker explained. "Wow, you wouldn't think a man like that would stoop so low," Harley replied. "_Right_? Oh, I'm so glad that someone understands my woes," The Joker said, leaning back in his seat.

"I understand completely. Keep talking, Mister J, I'll just be your therapist here," Harley said with a smile. The Joker and Harley continued enthusiastically talking as they drove back to the Joker's Steel Mill.


End file.
